Week 11: Gap Year: Second Week in the U.S.A

The second week has gone by quickly since we arrived in San Jose. Now we are sat in the middle of Arizona in some pretty stifling temperatures (thankfully they have plenty of aircon in the U.S.A!). The late update was largely due to the lack of computers which didn't cost over 6 dollars to use for 15 minutes. The machine only took card and considering in less than two weeks I have managed to lose my debit card that complicated things a bit. Arizona averaged 47.7 C today and so far has delivered some pretty typical American countryside. It definetly reminded me of Red Dead Redemption and the Wild West seen in the movies, but the Grand Canyon beckons for the 17th and 18th before we set off for Vegas, which we have been told by numerous people is a wild place. 

  That is for next week though so how do I summarise the second and final week in California? Pretty incredible and a lot has happened so I better start in San Jose. We arrived in San Jose on the back of a tough drive from Yosemite Park, we made a mental note to take a navigation system except that would come back to haunt us when in our next encounter with Budget (now known as Fudget to the team) car rental, the naviagation system would infact be terrible and slow to keep pace taking us in circles around Monterey on Route 1. The lady escorting us endured a lot of slander from the driver and passengers (the lady's voice not an actual Budget employee). We have since made a mental note to use a map again until further notice. Anyway back to San Jose, we were picked up by David (Charlie's Uncle) and it is fair to say he had a Hank Moody look about him, the main character from Californication, so pretty cool. He'd returned after leaving when we got 'lost'. The reality had been that we were looking around desperatlely for a refill of a near empty tank that needed to be returned full).

San Jose provided a decent day off, good food, hospitality and chilled drinks in the warm sunshine and time for Charles to catch with uncle and aunt (Debra). The urban sprawl gave us time to catch our breath. Lots of football with Charlie's excitable young counsins Sidney and Eddie, perhaps an excessive amount but it was still enjoyable. Ollie got a little overexcited and tripped scrapping his knee on the concrete of David and Debra's backyard. Weezing and exhausted, a few chats, several lethal mohitos, a few beers alongside a cracking barbeque was certainly the order of the day. The Roe's never dissapoint it seems whatever side of the globe we are located. We telephoned Mark, our contact in Mammoth Lakes who had offered us the chance to stay at his place near Santa Monica. We managed to negotiate one night on the 9th August, a friday night which give an ideal two and a half days to travel down Route 1 and a chance to go out in Los Angeles on a Friday. Believe me you do not want to rush down Route 1. It could have taken us a week to go down Route 1 if we could have stopped in Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz and Monterey.

The drive from San Jose to Santa Cruz was uneventful apart from Debra's watermelon and disovering that Ollie had created the album 'Matt Williams sleeps America' and that yet another photo had been added to the album. Hiring the car was reletavily straight forward, but we did not like the guy seving us the car. We stopped in Santa Cruz for a decent hour and wandered around the coastline Theme Park, finally seeing the beginning of Route 1 and the promise of blue sea and crystal clear sky to come. The theme park we strolled through provided our first corn dogs of the trip and the grotesque deep fried Twinkie then we hit the road our first stop being Monterey. Unfortuntely it was grey day with an awful navigation system, but thankfully the first day was a relitavely short drive. The motel (of which there are countless along Route 1) was very nice and we proceeded to....not visit Monterey, a very beautiful coastline town and instead contented ourselves with a chill by the poolside, watching Pawn Stars on the History Channel and only ventured in to stop by our one and only Mcdonalds supersize meal. I must admit Monterey certainly lacked the initiative sometimes required by travellers, but we did manage to purchase a 1.7 litre bottle of Vodka for $20! God Bless America! Okay we wasted Monterey.

The next day proved to be the best day of Route 1, the early morning fog lifting for the classic winding, bending roads, cliffs, and light blue Pacfici to emerge in the sunshine. We stopped for lunch at Lucia Lodge (a certain must if your're travelling the Route) where we ate chicken burgers (no surprises there...) and fish and chips (for Charlie) by a stunner waitress with a awesome view of Route 1 to boot. Expensive on a budget, but unmissable, sometimes money doesn't matter in these circumstances for such an experience. The largest fail of the day was our plans to stop at the Big Suur, a famous national park along Route 1. We stopped and hopped out of the car, and wandered around the Big Suur for a good fourty five minutes absorbing the natural beauty, possing in trees, climbing trees, taking scenic pictures and in my case falling out of trees. Charlie commented much like David Attenborough on the tranquil wild nature of the place. Content at the conquering of the park we jumped back in the car and drove on. We passed by a sign that said 'Big Suur National Park in 1/2 mile'. It turns out that we had been infact strolling around some random bloke's property and country road. Chumps.

Apart from that little mishap, it was certainly an unmissable experience Route 1 whilst listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Biffy Clyro, Tenacious D and more, Charlie passing out with fish and chips swirling around his stomach courtesy of the bendiest roads on Route 1 being placed under my jurisdiction. We stopped to check out some elephant seal and when we finally left Route 1 joined a very stunning route on the way to Santa Barbara in the evening sunset with Rupert bricking it about petrol being at near empty and Ollie nearly very much doing a me thinking that he had left his shoes at the petrol station during the day. The motel at Santa Barbara was decent, considering we had all been fearful for our lives after a reading a review suggesting that tomato ketchup/ blood stained the walls of some of the rooms. The room was decent and the motel quite nice, we spent most of the evening chilling.

We arrived in Los Angeles (the city of Fallen Angels) listening to Kickapoo on Friday morning, the group once again fearing we were heading for our doom staying with a stranger we had just met. At first the taxi-driver at LAX airport stated that the street address did not exist which left us contemplating the worst, but it turned out Mark was a member of LAFD (Los Angeles Fire Department), married for a year and had lived in LA for five years. He helped tackle some of the terrible fires in Arizona that claimed the lives of 19 firemen earlier in the summer. He took us surfing, showed us the fabled Venice beach ten minutes from his house and took us all for a cycle up to Santa Monica which culminated in ice cold pitchers at Hooters. What a unbeliveable beach to cycle along, it was hard to belive we were cycling along one of the most famous beaches in the world. Rock stars, hobos openly asking for drugs instead of food, hobos that were infact just very weathly people messing themselves up on drugs, attractive women everywhere and some very strange people (the man doing poor impersonations of Michael Jackson, or the topless Mexican running around excessively oiled) and most obviously foreigners drinking in the atmosphere of Venice Beach Walk.

"Venice, Holy Ground, stained with the blood of poets."

This quote could not be more precise on Los Angeles.Lots of swimming and surfing, the waves taking down my trunks at one unfortunate point and sunburns all round for the group. This was then followed by a bar crawl starting in Venice Whaler and ending in some club in Santa Monica. We didn't linger long since we had been up for nearly 20 hours after setting off from Santa Barbara. I lost my debit card as well that night which I only discoverd the next day, luckily online banking and transfers to Rupert's account has kept me afloat. Monetary stance is in check, dignity is certainly not. Jack-ass springs to mind. Only me...

Mark dropped us off at the Venice Beach Hotel where we took refuge for the remainder of our stay in LA, from which we ventured to Hooters, the beach, and bars in the vicinity and obviously to Hollywood (which we spent a few good hours searching for, amazing considering the sign is on a bloody hill). Amazingly to get to the Hollywood sign we were given a car by a complete stranger who we had a chat with while eating breakfast at the cafe (top pancakes). She threw Charlie the keys and just told us to return by the end of the day. Only in the U.S.A could this occur. So much trust. Not going to lie when we arrived in San Diego, most of LA is a unattractive urban sprawl, downtown Los Angeles is a bit of a dump, but Venice Beach and Santa Monica are a must in LA. The trip to Compton was postponed which was a shame. Sunday our final night out proved to be hilarious as we played drinking games with two Northern Irish lads, Craig and Kevin, and headed out to Venice Whaler for a few drinks. We all woke up worse for wear for our planned Greyhound trip to San Diego and after Kevin stated drunkenly that he would be coming to San Diego with us for the remaining days of his trip, he stated that particular morning after I asked him whether he was still coming "Am I f**k!'. Top guys though and I wish them well for the rest of their trip. Palm Trees and an excessive amount of curly fries and $1 hotdogs. LA did not dissapoint.

We set off for the Greyhound place and on arrival we didn't even leave the taxi. The lyrics from Lonely Island blazed out. "Book a greyhound" "PUSSY OUT!" "Like a Boss" The Greyhound bus stops located in downtown LA were located particularly close to County Prison/ a few jails and we had heard rumors before that people had got the Greyhound and been arrested the other end. It was surrounded by some very interesting people who geniunely looked like they would murder/ rob/ have their way with us if we had left the car and we quickly decided for $33 dollars on the day to get the highly reccommended train down to San Diego. What a decision that proved out to be, a train along the coastline of the Pacific and comfortable air condition with a pretty mean hangover was certainly the best option. Good suggestion Rupert Arvidsson. If you ever want to travel to San Diego from LA get the train! San Diego proved to be the favourite city so far, made LA look rather shabby and the weather far better then San Francisco. It is a very beautiful city and the locals clearly take pride in it.

Anchorman quotes galore followed for a bit, we managed to stay in a decent hotel just of the bay and very close to the U.S.S Midway Aircraft Carrier known as the Wyndham. For $33 dollars a night just of the bay of San Diego and very close to Coronado Island, it was a very good deal. Rupert and I got the chance to have a look at the U.S.S Midway Museum which offered a vast array of former U.S Military Aircraft and Naval equipment dating back to 1946 and few bad video impressions dancing to sailor tunes and impersonating American naval captains. 'Get to DA Choppa' was used a few times. The $18 fee was definetly worth it seeing as San Diego is the naval base for America's Pacific Fleet. San Diego's bars were packed considering after the meal at Gourmet India (the group had decided in-part to try and be slightly healthier after Los Angeles)the waiter said nothing happened really on a Tuesday or Wednesday. The group managed to have several good nights out in San Diego at the Whiskey Bar and another bar, which I can't personally remember the name of, proving to be excellent bars to go to meet locals, Rupert pulling the stings in the social settings and the 'Adios Mother F**kers' drinks (the drink was a mixture of four spirit) ravaging our livers and spurring us on. Rupert/ Rupert Hornbear got very snuggly with an unfortunate Charlie nestling his head on Charlie's shoulder while he was sleeping. The final day proved a write off for a few, but Charlie managed to get a good look at La Jolla Bay whilst some rotted back at the flat watching 4 hours straight of 'Pawn Stars'. Dominoes and a few films and we would set off for Arizona the next day.

After a terrible night's sleep for me, we woke up and packed our stuff for Budget and headed over to pick up the car. The next hour proved highly irritable for all, as Budget nearly messed up all our plans to go into Arizona, see the Grand Canyon and get to Vegas where we had booked flights the previous night for Dallas in Texas. They refused to give us the car because we didn't have a credit card and because they feared we would drive into Mexico. What a joke, luckily the Alamo car rental company saved our bacon the manager who had lived in London proving extremely helpful and kind in giving us the much needed car. The companies have such different standards from place to place. The drive along Route 40 was fairly smooth in a very good air condtioned Chevrolet Malibu which was to our vehicle in the deserts of California and Arizona. The hairdryer temperatures of Morroco returned in kind, after a much needed stop at IHOP where we treated ourselves to an epic breakfast of French Toast, pancakes, eggs, and extra bacon with mapel syrup in our coffees. Gluttony in the extreme on my part. Scorched mountains, hazardous terrain, desert wilderness, very straight roads to the middle of nowhere and intense heat. Certainly one of the hottest places on the planet at the moment and you could see the evidence of grass fires everywhere No one could survive in these deserts for long and we came up with some very gruesome theories of how to survive and what things we would do to survive. I shan't go into much more detail, it went from James Franco's film to unimaginable horrors that probably didn't have much to do with surviving Arizona's desert. But the drive was spectacular and we left California and entered Arizona to squeals of delight, the former state spoiling us. We even got a snap of Route 66 which we will drive tomorrow. The Grand Canyon and Vegas beckon before we head over to Texas! Oliver is preparing himself nicely with a worsening cold.

Highlights/Quotes of the week

- Buttslicer another name to add to the quotes conjured up by everyone to describe my overtly large buttocks. Thanks Sidney...
- Climbing Palm Trees is not recommended.
- 100% get the train from LA -> SD, not Greyhound.
- Take your time along Route 1. We missed out on some quality time in Monetrrey and Santa Barbara. Motels and Hotels everywhere should sort you for 3-4 nights.
- Last week I strongly condemned American advertisement and television, now I target Fox News, a media braodcast more interested in a fat man winning the lottery and Beyonce's haircut rather than the Arab Spring and their own foreign policy recently in Yemen. Priorities.
- Amish Mafia the programme though = fairplay.
- Craig and Kevin should create their own travel programme. The former will be at Nottingham University studying medecine, they will both fit right in.
- Fruit and Vegetables are swiftly becoming a luxury. Rupert and me are sick of Burgers and Fries.
- "Papa Dragon, lets keep this high and tight, I wanna be
home in in time for dinner!" = the favourite quote of the week. Avatar
- Get some!
- "Honey Boo Boo quite appealing Mother: "Our weight makes us sassy!"
- Hey Imperial Fleet get ready to suck some Dac!" (Family Guy)
- The beggar on the bus complaining about the air conditioning. "Gawd its so hot in here! We pay taxes for s**t air conditioning....you ain't seen no white boy like me before." This topic continued for 30 minutes. He was a very passionate individual.
- The beggar who did an impression to Rupert of slitting a throat when Rupert responded to his rock symbols with a peace sign.
- It is clear to the guys that I am in fact hoping to do International Relations and going to Uganda, prepared for my first pay-check in 2015. These words shall haunt me for the rest of trip when repeated so many times.
- Adios Mother F**kers have to be introduced elsewhere. They are lethal.

Food:

The Good: IHOP, In N Out, Dominoes, Vegetables and Fruit, Gourmet Indian, Mexican Burrito's in San Diego, Hershel's Chocolate Bars, Wendy's, Mammoth Lakes Pizza, Dominoes' Ranch Sauce, Whiskey Bar food in San Diego, 7/11. Hooters. Pancakes in Los Angeles, Del Taco, Panda Express

The Bad: Twisslers (Bland and Tasteless), Dominoes Garlic Sauce.

The Ugly: Dominoes Garlic Sauce (basically butter), Charlie's bedside plug on the 12th August, Excessive amounts of fast-food and spicy foods. Bad for the bowels! Mcdonalds and Burger King.

Matthew Williams